Beyond Self

When there is nothing to say
the colours flow
moving around
at their will
calm and slow
some merge
a few diverge
rhythm of their own
creating a unique symphony
swaying blissfully

The raging reds
Ochres and corals
riding the waves of ecstasy
in the pursuit
to establish themselves

here come in the blues
different tones and different hues
turquoise, aquamarine
eager to please
all about peace
with calm they flow
meeting the reds
the violets emerge
merging as one

losing uniqueness
or finding what’s unknown
finding self beyond self
a whole new world to explore

Watercolor on Arches paper

To know what I see

Sitting backwards in a speeding train
things vanishing into oblivion
by the window rolling by
does it give a sense of loss
to see it all passing by.

Things closer move faster
distant features seem to stay
line of sight is the logic
beyond that if I may say
the insatiable desire to get what is faraway
what is closer is slipping away.

Or sitting forward
things appearing from oblivion
as they come by the window
does it give a sense of high
to see it all coming by.

Everything coming at a fast pace
trying to grab a glimpse
the new interest emerges
to again fade away
the journey goes on
in the quest of looking ahead
or grabbing what is going by.

Not measuring the distance
nor calculating the time
life is my journey
that’s where I better be
being an observer,
so that I know what I see.

I allow myself to just be.

Melody of soul ❤️

Acrylic on board

In my thoughts
I feel you around
Your touch
your smell
your presence
so profound.

I speak to you
hug you tight
In my thoughts
but it feels so right.

Time heals all
so they say
months have passed
The pain is here to stay
fills me every moment
every single day.

God has you in his arms
I have you within
memories in my heart
Inked on my skin.

You whispered my prayer
in his ear
send me back
to lick that tear
or you give her a reason to cheer
My Ma needs to love
love to live.

You clung till he heard
he knew you wouldn’t leave
there will be love
but in a special way
You will be around
to make her smile
to make her sway
to the music of love
to the melody of soul.

Gallop on

When mind has a mind of its own
wanders to places unknown
as much as we try to tame
claiming control is too much of a claim.

The untamed mind keeps racing
on tracks with no ends
acing the sharp bends
gliding up the steep slopes
diving into deep oceans.

Where nothing is forbidden
every emotion genuine
every feeling true
no denial
no pretence
crystal clear, nothing to defend.

Let the mind be a wild horse
or tighten the reins?
Let it be free spirited
or teach it the worldly ways?
Chain the stallion
or let it gallop on?

An Ode

With every brush stroke
as he came alive
his eyes spoke
his smile wide.

I would tell him
you should have stayed
Your loved ones grieve
they feel betrayed.

He would sigh
till the last breath
I did try
wanting to stay
to be there
in joy and pain.

Let my loved ones know
here I am
very close
just not in
flesh and bone
in their hearts
in their thoughts
every breath
every tear that flows
words spoken
in the silence
in the fragrance
you will find me
always around
till we meet again..

The Ruins

About these ruins old and lone
Telling stories or they mourn
Proud and composed
Still stand tall
Are they talking
Or am I stoned

About these ruins wild and forlorn
or still sojourned
by the pining souls
looking for peace
are they talking
or am I stoned

about these ruins dark and obscure
holding onto secrets
waiting to be told
in the language of silence
are they talking
or am I stoned

Bittersweet life

Watercolor on Arches paper

One spoon at a time
try every morsel savour every bite
That’s life, Bitter. Sweet. Alive.

Empty handed

All these years
being there in lows
cheering the wins
making up for wrongs
hiding the sins
to keep the vows

those small little things
a favorite meal
a note of love
dressing up
to allure

gave you the power
for that inordinate desire
let be controlled
inflated your ego
to make you feel secure

decorating the walls
that confined
cleaning the cobwebs
but staying entwined
to let you own

rebuilding the paradise
everytime it came crashing down
gather the shreds
cementing the cracks
to start over again

At a loss of words
when asked
what are your earnings?
where are the savings?
what is yours?

I stand empty handed
after all these years.

In the embrace

Picture credit- “Embrace” Oil Painting by Sarah Tantawy

In hope of refuge
to feel secure
comfort the pain
of body and soul
to grieve my loss
I came close
my intent misread

it ignited desire
purely ferine
pleads unheard
tears ignored
you pursued
Rights claimed
power weilded

That dark night
body bruised
soul pained
another death of me
another added corpse
the baggage so heavy
I carried along

Now, you seek
the same me
if only
the dead came alive
here I am
whatever left of me

My arms reach for you
to hold you close
to comfort the pain
I have felt it through.
In the embrace
the widening gap
have you shrivelled
or I take up more space.

Strength in being soft

There is strength
In being soft
You are bruised
You are bent
Yet you stand.
You bounce
After every trounce.
Spirits not stolen,
It is Deadwood,
that gets fallen.

There is strength
in being soft
heal the wounds
let no scars be
smile through that pain
relentless yet placable
let the innocence be
unlearn some lessons
put the guards down
let the vulnerability be
believe in goodness
open that heart
but let the pride be.